The Letter 2/3: “SORRY”

“SORRY”

When will you realize that you keep saying “sorry” for making me feel being neglected but then the next day you’re doing it again. I listen and accept your reason that you’re just busy because of work, stress of work so you disremember about me but deep inside I keep saying

“were you really that busy you barely have no time, or even a minute to drop just a single message for me? You’re stress? why not talk to me and allow me to lift up your stress. All I ever want is to have a normal conversation with you just like the good old days.”

But of course I can’t say that. I feel like I am obliged to take extra careful of what I should be saying or asking because I fear you will get mad again and think of leaving everything about us behind.

We barely talk to each other and everyday our conversation keeps getting lesser and lesser. On weekends, I look forward for your time since you have no work during those but then again, I still can’t have. When will you see it? When will you realize you keep saying “sorry” for something you would eventually repeat the process once again?

In fact, I am already ashamed being the first one to start the conversation because I would feel I will just be neglected, something I shouldn’t feel towards you because you’re my lover, listener and a friend. We were friends before we became lovers. We used to be each other’s listener. But, at this point of our chapter I can’t even feel I’m a friend for you. You’re even closer to your friends than towards me and I must admit I am jealous. I am jealous in a way I feel hurt, not hatred. How I wish I meet them also. I don’t ask to have all your time, but at least I have some. I once felt I’m part of your world, a family to you. Why am I like this? Because suddenly I feel I’m already outside your circle.

Funny, I’m almost begging for your attention and it hurts so bad to have come to this point.

Sorry, but all I ever want is to communicate with you. I miss that. I MISS US!

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